There are some incidents in life that aren’t supposed to happen—37-year-olds shouldn’t have three forms of heart disease, marathon runners shouldn’t have heart attacks and mothers of young children shouldn’t have two heart attacks by the time they’re 38 years old. Jen Thorson can check each of those off her list. Done, done and done. The Saint Paul resident’s journey to survival is one of many stories chronicled in Andy Steiner’s latest book, How to Survive: The Extraordinary Resilience of Ordinary People (Think Piece Publishing, 2015).
The genesis of the book began in 2008 when Steiner became increasingly distressed at the effects of the country’s economic downturn. People were losing jobs, relationships were stressed and breaking, and financial frustrations chipped away at too many people’s emotional well-being. Steiner, a freelance writer, editor and author of Spilled Milk: Breastfeeding Adventures and Advice from Less-Than-Perfect Moms (Rodale Books, 2005), felt it was time to search out stories of survival from common people. “I looked around, and everyone has something,” Steiner says.
The author cut a wide swath, looking for survival stories to share in the book, emailing everyone she knew, asking, “Are you a survivor?” and scouring blogs, periodicals and websites. After reading a Minnesota Women’s Press article that Thorson wrote about her first heart crisis and recovery, Steiner asked her to be featured in How to Survive. The interviews between Steiner and Thorson took an unexpected turn. During that period, Thorson suffered another heart attack. Thankfully, she recognized the symptoms, quickly sought help, and survived. Subsequently, readers are offered a unique perspective into Thorson’s emotional journey.
Steiner’s book features eight chapters’ worth of other inspirational journeys, including death, job loss and financial downfall. The book, Steiner notes, doesn’t compare or measure the traumas on a scale. “It doesn’t diminish one experience or elevate another,” she says.
Pain, loss and suffering, while universal in theory, are personal in practice. The way in which people address and overcome situations can also be unique—to an extent. Through her book, Steiner found a connecting point. “The one common thread was community,” she says. “We’re not alone in this world,” and those who created or connected to others in similar situations were better able to find the path to resiliency.
Steiner also writes about a woman and a man, Stacy and Sam. Each of them lost a spouse, but their paths to resiliency were quite different. Stacy was a young widow, who found it difficult to connect with traditional support groups for widows who were much older. She found her community through writing. Sam was older, but he found it difficult to find support for men. He established his own group, which led to the formation of the National Widowers’ Organization, an online forum.
“Everyone has it in them—the capacity of resilience,” Steiner says. “All I really wanted to do was to help people.” In the end, Steiner helped herself. In 2013, her father-in-law was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) and died a few months later. Shortly after, her niece died from breast cancer. “I was able to have the stories of other people hold me up,” she says. “If they could do it, so could I.”
