After the bustle of early school mornings, weekends crammed with extracurricular activities and planning for college, many empty nesters have a decision to make when the commotion settles. Do they dust off a life that’s been dormant for 18-plus years—or do they discover a new life that more accurately reflects their current life stage? We found many residents in the Lake Minnetonka area who looked around and discovered they have more time to explore their own interests and passions, and they like it.
A passion for helping others
Amy Jensen doesn’t tell people she retired. Instead, she says she rewired. When her two daughters went to college and she retired from a demanding career in business, she wanted to refocus her energy. “I felt like I hadn’t spent a lot of time volunteering because of a demanding career,” Jensen says. But she had taken small mission trips through her church and helped with small volunteering projects that whetted her appetite for more.
Jensen had coffee with a coordinator from Interfaith Outreach & Community Partners (IOCP) to find out how she could get involved. She found out she could use her business background to help in IOCP’s new ReSale 101 shop, a consignment store where donated clothing and household goods raise money for the nonprofit. “As soon as I got involved, I loved it,” Jensen says. “I work with high school kids in the summer and 80-year-old men and women who all have such a heart for service.”
She spends 12–15 hours a week organizing volunteers for shifts, arranging attractive displays at the store, or rolling up her sleeves and stocking merchandise. “I never go home upset,” Jensen says. “I always go home feeling good and invigorated. It fills my heart and soul and I feel good about what I’ve accomplished.”
IOCP depends on 1,600 active volunteers each year, and they treasure empty nesters because they have two very valuable assets: time and experience. “The focus of their lives has changed and they know there’s some good they can do. It’s more in terms of, what is that focus?” says Lynn Vettel, community engagement director at IOCP. “We hear so often their involvement has created new purpose and recreated their lives, and that’s incredibly rewarding from our perspective. That’s a huge benefit for us.”
To accommodate volunteers and help them find the right volunteer outlet, IOCP offers two informational sessions a month to showcase what jobs they have and gauge volunteer interest. “Volunteers don’t have to commit to anything. You can learn more about the needs of the community and see there’s a whole variety of ways you can make a difference,” Vettel says.
IOCP offers volunteer opportunities in not only in the ReSale 101 shop, but positions working in the food shelf area, tutoring kids through the Homework Club, organizing volunteers at large, and even an opportunity to bake birthday cakes for children who might otherwise go without a celebration. “We have people in so many roles,” Vettel says. “It’s important to us to make the right match. People find more purpose if they have the right fit.”
Help finding the right fit
Peggy Stefan discovered her purpose is actually helping other people find the right fit in life. “I love connecting with people,” she says. “That’s the number one thing that makes me tick.” Stefan helped and mentored people off and on during a career in financial services and marketing before becoming a stay-at-home mom for her two children. “I really did not want to go back to financial services and instead, I wanted to work with people who were going through the same things I had gone through.”
So Stefan took classes and became certified as a life coach. She describes this job as similar to that of a head cheerleader. “People understand what a personal trainer does,” Stefan says. “A life coach seeks to do for your life what a personal trainer does for your body.” She founded Reach…A Coaching Collaborative in March 2012 and since then, she’s helped people take the next step in life. “I always say to clients it’s a journey we go on together and they have all the answers, but maybe they aren’t asking the right questions,” she says.
If an empty nester is wondering what the next phase of life could bring, Stefan suggests hiring a life coach to help them examine the possibilities. “If you are going to live your life the way you dream to be living it and entering a new phase, chatting with your best friend or spouse isn’t going to get you the kind of results as working with a professional who will help you get past all of those ‘maybes,’” Stefan says. “Take some time and consider working with a life coach.”
Discovering an artistic muse
Both Wade Smith and Jeanne Obermeier had no doubt they’d be doing something with art when they had more free time. They just had no idea they’d be doing it together.
After Smith’s two daughters left the house, his life became more hectic. He joined the family business, but his wife contracted ALS and he devoted his time to caring for her. “As a kid, something in my genes always said I should be a creative artist,” he says. “However, the priories of family and making a living always seemed to intrude. I didn’t resent these priorities but there was always a continuing sense of postponement.”
After his wife passed away and he went through the grief process, Smith welcomed the freedom to paint and sought out Ellen Richman’s class at Minnetonka Center for the Arts. He’s been in her class continuously for almost three years since then. “Whatever creative pursuit you follow, surround yourself with people you respect who will offer direct, constructive criticism,” Smith says. “This should be part of your plan…to not just dabble, but actually grow.”
In the seven years Richman has taught abstract art at the Arts Center, she frequently has empty nesters in class. “I believe every person has their own expression, like a signature,” Richman sayd. “I have some very talented people in class.” Some students are picking up a brush for the first time, yet others are experienced and come to class for the creative outlet. Overall, many empty nesters come to class for the camaraderie. “It’s a great place to find community,” she says. “They connect with other people in the class.”
Richman strives to foster that community by making her class as unintimidating as possible. She encourages people who might have that itch to paint to come to the Arts Center, take a look around and even sit in on a class. “I think art is an enriching experience for all people,” she says. “It’s for everybody.”
Jeanne Obermeier did just that. She had enjoyed fiber arts, fine jewelry making and sculpture, but wasn’t satisfied. “I never felt I had landed on just the right medium—the one that really sang to me,” Obermeier says. “Constant in me was a deep interest in painting, but also a huge fear of doing it.” So she visited Richman’s class, signed up afterwards and hasn’t left. “I felt I had found my place with putting paint to canvas, though my work was pretty awful,” she says.
As Obermeier developed as an artist, she struck up a friendship with one of her classmates who was also a novice at abstract art: Smith. “One day, we had lunch at the center and discovered a tremendous number of commonalities, one being this love of painting,” Obermeier says. Smith calls the meeting dumb luck. “I was struck by the beauty and elegance of the first couple of paintings I saw her working on, and then began to take much more interest in the beauty of the artist,” he says.
The couple became inseparable, both at the Arts Center and in life. “Our relationship rapidly grew to an intense appreciation of each other, a sharing of ideas, constant art conversations and a solid merging of lives,” Obermeier says. “We now share a home, have five daughters between us, two grandchildren and had our first very successful art show in June.” The couple continues to take Ellen Richman’s art class each week and is now working toward another show.
“Pursuing what was in my heart has rewarded me greatly,” Obermeier says. “My soul sings when I paint, I have a new life with an awesome partner, a new world of artist friends, and feel that I am indeed in that ‘right’ place.”
